An ADD Family - Flying in Overdrive

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An ADD Family - Flying in Overdrive

An ADD Family - Flying in Overdrive
I am just coming in for a landing at the end of another day that seemed to fly by at hyper- speed. I live with two active boys and a husband that never slow down until they literally pass out at night. My husband and myself have always known we had a propensity in our genes for ADD or ADHD, but be have never slowed down long enough to worry about it. But now we were seeing that it might benefit our children to find some answers.
Every child is so different and what works with one, may not for another. I home school my oldest, and my younger son requires a very rigid structured routine so he goes to school. I found several curriculums that worked for us and began to develop a routine and a rhythm to our day to help it run as smoothly as possible, as we fly in overdrive.
It is 5:30 in the evening, when my battery is running a bit low from a hectic day. I am trying to listen and answer intently to my eight year old. He is wearing his super hero cape and dashing about the kitchen, shouting to me for the sixth time today about his favorite super-power, which of course is flying, and what exactly would I do if he could just lift off like Peter Pan. He impulsively kicks and punches the air and anything that may get in his way, as he is speaking. Meanwhile I pry a dull steak knife from the hands of my screeching four year old, who insists he is a big boy and can slice his own orange. He recently discovered how to un-proof the childproof lock on the knife drawer. All the while I am preparing a nice chicken and rice dinner. My wonderful husband, on the road, is calling to say he is running late and has already eaten chicken for lunch, so what else have I got?
Late in the evening, I retreat to the hot tub, my solace. I am able to slow down and rest. It is not that I do not love flying at this speed. I do. I reflect back 18 years, when I first met my husband, and all that attracted me to him. He was spontaneous. Always full of surprises, he was completely unpredictable. He cooks gourmet and loves to travel. I was young and blindly in love. The excitement, the romance... We eloped. Some of these qualities that may drive me crazy now, are the exact same qualities that drew me, flying to him, like moth to a flame, years ago.
The role of fun Daddy has always been a comfortable one for him, and the boys love him dearly. He is my grown-up Peter Pan setting a course of adventure for us all. We both seem to complete the other's weaknesses. My husband reminds me to have fun and enjoy the moments while I have them. I try to fill in some of the details that are missed.
We are experiencing new challenges with my 4 yr old that we have never confronted. He weaned himself from me at 10 months, and never looked back. Not for a kiss, well maybe a quick hug, and then he was gone again. For the last few years, he has screamed and bitten and spat and swung and kicked his way to independence. Being committed to first-time obedience with my other son, I knew this just could not be my child. The only thing that helped me through this last tempestuous year as he screamed and spat at me, was my hope and faith that all things were temporary. I had to force myself not to take his rejection personally, knowing there were some underlying causes for his behavior. I had to become his problem solver and advocate as I searched for answers. There is a season to everything, and this season would end soon as we found new answers, and helped him to mature.
I spent the last year studying food allergies, very beneficial nutritionals, as well as optional disciplinary tactics. I recently discovered a book that has helped us to return some peace in our home called "The Out-Of-Sync Child". We learned that most of his behavior was not defiance but just severe anxiety from his processing challenges, called Sensory Processing Disorder. Changing his diet and removing preservatives has made a huge difference in triggers that set him off as well. We have to steer clear of large crowds, and help him have as structured of a routine as possible. Many of the processing challenges are improving with therapy. In the meantime, I try to focus daily on our wonderful strengths, which are many.
These complex little creatures have much of my husband in them, and I must remind myself that they also have some of me. I am not always comfortable with the speed and the drama, but I am fascinated by it. I am Wendy. I am here to read my lost boys some wonderful stories, comfort them when they hurt, and enjoy our time in Neverland, before they leave and grow up. We have valiant sword fights to the plank, with our capes and pirate scarves. We chase lightning bugs till long after dark, trying to see if they are really tinker bells. We dance and we fly and we explore, and I try to help them see the wonderful adventure in all of the little things in life, the miracles we witness everyday.
It is nice to slow down our speed and be thankful, even for a quick moment. After jumping on the trampoline, tired and out of breath, we just lay down in a row and let the sunlight break through the trees and warm our faces. We hear the woodpecker, vainly drilling on a neighbor's metal chimney. We laugh and reflect. I soak in this moment with a deep breath, truly knowing how quickly it will pass.
"Mommy, why doesn't the sun stay out all the time?" My eight year old asks. I begin to answer him ponderously, but before the words make their way out of my mouth, he is up and jumping again. "C'mon Mom! Jump! Dis is the greatest and the best thing in the world next to flying".
And I know he is right. Someday my pixie dust will be gone. My boys will be all grown up. I will once again have my feet grounded, and life will take on a calmer and slower pace.
So until then, how can I refuse to fly?
For more information on Sophia's story or to view the gallery visit her site at http://www.dare2shine.com or her blog at http://www.sophiadare.com

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An ADD Family - Flying in Overdrive

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An ADD Family - Flying in Overdrive